Top 7 Christmas Films

1. Home Alone

The ultimate Christmas comedy

2. Elf

Feel good fun for the whole family

3. It's a Wonderful Life

The ultimate Christmas tearjerker

4. The Grinch

Jim Carey at his finest

5. Miracle on 34th Street

Richard Attenborough shines in his role as Saint Nick

6. The Polar Express

A deep and jolly Christmas film, a real rollercoaster ride

7. Jack Frost

Quirky but great fun

by Will Jennings

Spotlight: Essex band Never Means Maybe

Never Means Maybe are a pop-post-hardcore band from Chelmsford, Essex. Having been a part of at least 400 shows since forming in 2005 and gone through some line-up changes, this band proves that hard work really can get you places! Currently they are on tour with Fei Comodo and Exit Ten, all over the country, reaching out to the ever expanding fan-base they have created. They were a part of the Redbull Bedroom Jam competition last year, which gave them the opportunity to play at the major music festivals throughout the UK, including Download and Sonisphere festivals respectively. This year they released their latest EP, Strangers and two of their songs are regular players on ScuzzTv and Kerrang: Ziva Killed Houdini and Inhale The Chaos. Their sets are always full of energy and you can see, as part of the audience, that they just love to play music together regardless of who they’re playing in front of. The band always have time to talk to fans and network constantly and have become a staple part of the Essex music scene. They are a must see band, keep an ear out for them and try to see them play soon!
Happy Christmas from me to you, many musical returns, don’t forget to get in touch for me to review a band you want for next year’s magazine. :)
by Amy Fowler

Cheesy Christmas Cracker Jokes

Are Christmas adverts and the rush for late-night shopping taking away that all important festive fun? Nothing can get you in the Christmas mood better than some cheery cracker jokes. Here is a merry mixture of the top ten worst cracker jokes – just so you can have a double dose of delight before the big day!

1. Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?

He's a fun guy to be with.

2. How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.

3. What's furry and minty?
A polo bear

4. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy

5. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost

6. Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem

7. They say it wouldn’t be Christmas without M&S.

8. What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake

9. What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper

And finally, the nation’s worst Christmas cracker joke –
10. What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even

Enjoy your festive season, wear those awkwardly placed gold hats and don’t forget to slip these into the family conversation at dinner on the 25th!

Scientists debate possibility of faster-than-light particle

Neutrinos, Oscillation Projects and bewildering theories. This may all seem overwhelming but it can be explained in an easily understandable format.

We all know of Einstein, but perhaps do not know of his work, fear not readers for I shall try to explain...

Amongst decades of investigations, number crunching and late nights on his lonesome Einstein produced many papers on different topics, most notably his theories of General and Special relativity (I would briefly explain them if I had any clue as to what they were, but unlike Einstein my brain is not the size of a goat.) Einstein stated that nothing, (except for Usain Bolt) can go faster than the speed of light, it is the universal speed limit. So when physicists from CERN, an organization for nuclear research, stated that they had propelled a Neutrino (picture an incredibly small ping pong ball) faster than the speed of light, the world stood in awe! Well perhaps not the whole world, but the science world sure did.

The large majority of our understanding of the universe is based on this vital law that nothing travels faster than light, the speed limit of light is also the basis of ‘cause and effect:’ effects always follow causes. If this statement did not stand, the basic laws of physics would have to be re-written! In a nut shell; several modules of what you future-physicists have learnt would have been somewhat wrong!

Many of you may or may not care about how the Neutrino managed to travel so fast, but I’m going to tell you anyway.
It didn’t.
Apparently.

“Right, if the CERN experiment proves to be correct, I will eat my boxer shorts on live TV.”
Jim Al-Khalili  (Theoretical Physicist) 

There is still much speculation over whether this actually happened or not, some say that the results were muddled, others just don’t believe them at all, Brian Cox blames extra dimensions! He says...

“...the universe might not have three dimensions, it might have other ones. If this is right then things can take short cuts through the extra dimensions. The neutrinos could be taking a shortcut through another dimension”

All very mind-boggling stuff.  Thankfully Brian Cox simplified this theory...

“Imagine there’s a speed limit that stops you going from London to Sydney; you fly around the circumference of the Earth. The other way to do it is to take a tunnel, straight through the earth with no speed limits; therefore this route is faster.”

That is what the theory proposes the Neutrino has done.

Believe what you choose to believe, as there is no correct answer just yet, so you can’t be wrong! I hope this has given you a small insight into the baffling work that is taking place as you read, or at least entertained you for a few minutes whilst you wait for tutorial to finish.

by Kerr McIlwraith

Christmas Planner

Saturday 17th December
First day of the holidays! Best spent chilling out after a LONG term working hard at college! Reward yourself, kick back with some Christmas movies (check our list on page **), hot chocolate, a tin of quality street and your best buddies!

Sunday 18th December
Sundays are the day for spending time with family, so why not spend the day visiting relatives you won’t see over the Christmas? Delivering cards and presents to friends and family you might not see, enough to give anyone that warm, fuzzy feeling one only gets from spreading Christmas cheer! (I know I sound corny but Christmas is catching!)

Monday 19th December
Monday, time to have a bit of fun, try a Christmas activity, tobogganing! Enjoy a few hours sliding down slopes with your friends, guaranteed to be a fun experience to get you set for the season to be jolly! Try Suffolk Leisure Park, £6.50 per person per hour! Happy sliding!

Tuesday 20th December
Today is time to make sure all your Christmas shopping is done! Head into town and stomp down the high street to get them deals! Fight the storm of shoppers and then head to Starbucks or Costa for a celebratory drink on beating them crowds!

Wednesday 21st December
Hmm, 21st December, close enough to Christmas that your decorations are up but far away enough that you aren’t in that mad dash to make sure everythings wrapped and ready! Take a chill pill, go to the cinema and check out ‘New Years Eve’ - latest rom com from the people that made ‘Valentines Day’. Whether you go with your lover or your friends its bound to be a good night! And afterwards a trip to Nandos is obviously
necessary and hey! You might see Olly Murs! ;)

Thursday 22nd December

Head up to Chelmsford and go ice skating! An experience guaranteed to get a few laughs out of, falling over being a main part of this dare devil activity! Riverside Ice Skating Rink costs £6.70 a session!

Friday 23rd December
The 23rd of December, the night most likely for parties and fun before the big day! Get all glammed up in your party gear (see our fashion faves page **) and your heels (boys too!;)) and head out to pull! Get under that mistletoe ladies and gents!

Saturday 24th December
Christmas Eve! The day for last minute prep! Baking, visiting relatives, eating too much, checking those lists to Santa to make sure you’ve written everything you want, wrapping presents, eating all the chocolates, dressing your pets up (is that just me?), stressing out your family.. Its all about tonight! Get an early night folks, Father Christmas is coming later and you’ll all have a busy day tomorrow!

Merry Christmas to you all!

By Paisley-Rose Tedder

Bringing it Back: Empire Records

Old School Films You Don't Want To Miss

Review of Empire Records

If you’re not feeling the cheer this year, or having started watching your favourite Christmas films in October, are sick of them then don’t despair because I am about to offer and alternative movie to fill your winter evenings.

This month’s old school movie is ‘Empire Records’ which was released smack bang in the middle of the nineties and contains some familiar faces. A young Liv Tyler, minus the horse and elf ears, and playing her best friend, Renee Zellweger feature in the film.
But besides a star studded cast ‘Empire Records’ has a lot to offer. The title of the film shares itself with the name of the record store where Tyler and Zellweger work alongside their colleagues and friends Lucas, A.J, Debra and Mark. Each of them has their own troubles which they in turn face and defeat with the help of their friends, their music and especially their boss Joe.

And when Joe has to front his own problems his staff are right their supporting him in the only way they know how: through music.

The soundtrack to this movie is quite simply awesome. As its set in a music store music features heavily throughout the film spotlighting artists like The Cranberries, the Dire Straits, Edwyn Collins and a final number performed and written by Coyote Shivers. Even if these names have flown straight over your head never fear, the songs are catchy, jumpy and for some may be love at first listen.
So if you’re looking for a film that isn’t coated with morals about family love and doesn’t feature scenes of excessive Christmas spirit, then why not broaden your horizons and dip into the 90’s with this gem of a film. I guarantee you’ll want a job at Empire Records when you’re done.

By Katherine Cudmore

No More Fashion Victims

If you’re stuck for ideas on what to buy your friends for Christmas, think the Environmental Justice Foundation, which have made the seemingly impossible possible, by blending fashion and the environment together.

EJF’s style is organic, bold and meaningful. The collection marks the charity’s tenth year, campaigning on issues of environmental justice, giving the millions of children forced to work in the cotton fields, a right to be heard and sending a message to the fashion industry to ‘Pick Your Cotton Carefully’.


Their biggest trademark piece is ‘The T-Shirt’. It is the most iconic and widespread piece of cotton clothing, used as a message board to positively promote fair-trade production. EJF’s aim is to prevent the use of forced child labour and to stop the use of deadly pesticides from cotton production. Their T-shirts are all ethically made with 100% organic cotton and Soil Association certified printing. Organic T-shirt designers include John Rocha, Betty Jackson, Ciel and John Patrick with most designs giving off that contemporary and casual look, guaranteed to suit everyone. EJF’s products are available from their website at an average price of £30, with all proceeds going towards the charity.

EJF also make organic cotton tote bags perfect for college or shopping. They come in two quirky designs and you can bag yourself one of these at http://www.ejfoundation.org.uk/ for only £15.

These are sure to make the perfect, thoughtful gift for Christmas, allowing you to buy with pride!

Merry Christmas! X

By Amelia Bolton